The other side (not a near death experience)

It really began with a lot of pancakes.
Friends gathered over food.
Time out: throw some hay.
Friend with wife and child mention cute girl.
I'm in.
calling... calling... calling
message.
still no answer, time to go.
should I stay or should I go now?
GO.
Yard work; trim bushes, clean car, sweat.
try her again,
success!
She said yes
to blindness.
no time to shower or to brush hair
rinse off in the sink.
Sitter or date long game of hot potato baby?
stressful predicament
keep her I say
no search conducted.
Ideas and choices
Planed, paired off, etc.
Here we are go get her
Where?
There.
Underestimated Beauty!
Cheating, laughing over competitive cheating, cute baby continues, lots of smiles
Decision time; stay or go
Easy decision.
Fun prolonged as cheating continues.
chance to move closer
good contact.
time has come
offered the car.
thoughts of end date plan;
first date, blind date, short date...
I can't do it :(
I knew the way home.
one on one fun
delightful teacher interrupts.
Staling.
calling
Dude you coming back?
no time
all the time in the world.
embrace.
still can't... can I... no... but... no
YES!

An explaination of smilies

You may notice that I like to use smilies during texts, blog posts, or other forms of writing. I do this because I try to show you when I smile in my own writing. Sometimes I cause myself to chuckle when writing... this can be expressed with a ":P". This same smilie is used when I think I am being cleaver or funny (which is not always the case in others opinions... but that doesn't stop my smilies), also it can show for a funny face which I use when I am being serious but need a little relief from doing such to break possible tension.
I often use :) which can at times be =) when written on paper. These are for when I smile for another person. :D can be used as well but should have greater impact as the smile is bigger with an open mouth smile which shows teeth.
Anyway, I think I started this more so when my brother Aaron mentioned how much he loved my illustrations which I provided him when I wrote to him on his mission in Portugal. I hope they can be appreciated for what they are and that they can some how fill the void which is absent do to the fact that facial expressions are not possible to convey otherwise in writing.

What is Love?

Have you ever had an overpowering desire to call something your own, or to be a part of something that is greater than oneself? To have love and be able to share it openly with that person with whom it is shared; never to tarnish it, but to treat it as it should be, because it is eternal and untouchable by those who aren't enveloped in its personal ties. There may be others who will "judge" another individuals relationship and claim to understand completely from their own understanding of love and companionship, but they may never know of the delicate and beautifully unique intricacies which exist in true loving relationships.
Love is a beautiful thing! It is so precious that great "risk" is taken in sharing ones heart with another, so the deceiver would have us believe. But there is an amount of truth in that... you can't tell a stranger on the street that you love them for what good you see in them, first a relationship must be established and a bond nurtured before such an expression can be appreciated. The trick is to love no matter what, but to know when it is time to express it. If love is one sided (given with no return) then great pain is almost always the end result. The Savior is a great example of the true power of love and how one sided love may be painful at times (although His ability to be selfless enables him to look past the pain of rejection, jealousy and hate), but even then His love has such power as to be able to turn hearts to love Him; which love can and is displayed in scripture as respect (also written as fear), reverence, a desire to be near Him, etc... These are different levels of love which may be manifested one way or another, but there is no greater thing than to love whole-heartedly. To love whole-heartedly is to love as the Savior did, even unto great sacrifice. Only caution must be taken at times, so I feel, by those of us who have not reached a level of perfection yet, such as our Lords. I feel that I have a large capacity to love, but in that I have a weakness of pride which presents itself in forms of fear and self-centeredness or oversensitivity. I have had experiences in which I have been heartbroken, all of us do at some point in time. The differences in how we grow and develop from our experiences depends on how we react, initially and throughout the rest of our lives. I ought not to allow for my weaknesses to hide what capacities my Father in heaven has blessed me with.
I have a friend who I admire for who he is, a kind and caring person. He once shared with me, not in great detail, that he has had experiences which have "torn some of his heart strings." "Look you can see the void where my heart has been broken and torn form its cavity in my chest", he says as he shows me how his chest indents into his torso, obviously a form of deformity having nothing to do with his actual heart. Such passion is not a bad thing, so long as it doesn't overshadow ones love and expression thereof. I mention my friend in an effort to illustrate a point and must point out that his tale of a damaged heart doesn't prove a lack in his abilities to love and no man has jurisdiction to judge him and his heart for how can a man know anothers true feelings as an imperfect being himself.
The love I am hoping to focus on, and which was my intent in creating this post, is love between man and woman or husband and wife. The ability to love another in a deep and personal manner. I do not claim to have a complete knowledge on the subject, but can only share my understanding form what little experience I have under my belt. As pertaining to the feelings of my heart; I have so much I wish to share, but I must admit I shelter it behind lock and key. Not just any lock... one that is old with a unique key that no other man can duplicate and which has been created thick with solid metals nearly indestructible. I hold my heart dear and precious to myself. I greedily do not share many deep feelings which I possess, for fear of scrutinization. Maybe I should not be so timid at times, as imperfect as I am, but either way I should be humble and know that no matter what others may claim I am who I am and how I feel is my own. I just hope to someday be able to share every bit of who I am (my soul) with another; with whom I may lay claim to throughout all time and eternity and give of myself whole-heartedly.
I hope to be able to make someone happy and be able to find happiness at their side. Someone to work with towards perfection... such a person will need to know intricate parts of my being to be able to truly help cast out the imperfections, many of which I am in essence blinded to. Finding someone who is willing to share such an intense relationship is not easy. I have been labeled as being too picky, but I feel somethings are worth waiting and looking hard for. More than that I feel that Heavenly Father knows our potential and wants us to have the desires of our heart, thus he assists us in the decisions of our lives. I love my Father in heaven for he loves me (vain as that may sound, but I do know he loves us all). Coming to this realization has blessed my life beyond my ability to capture such feelings in writing.

A Career in Law Enforcement

I have been putting a lot of thought into joining up with a law enforcement agency, but it is hard to choose which one to pursue; local police department ie. LAPD, a sheriff department, CHP, etc. A month or so ago I put in an online application with the LAPD and SBPD (San Bernardino), but have been thinking about the other agencies more since then. Last week I spoke with Brother Badal from the Chino Heritage ward about the CHP. He works for the CHP and spoke highly of its benefits and great retirement plan. He offered to get me an application and I spoke with him about doing a ride along sometime. Since then I have looked online to find all the information I could about anything and everything CHP has to offer me. Reading about the Academy brought back some memories of the MTC... Intense training, heavy studying, Wednesday "pday", dress code, and much more. The CHP Academy is in Sacramento and would be my home for 27 weeks. Once there I will be paid monthly at an entering salary rate. They recommend running at least 3 miles 3 times a week at a pace of 9 min per mile. I have mapped out a route that takes me from my house to chino ave. where I will run a circle around Don Lugo High School and the block west of the school and from there return home. This route is about 3.5 miles and I am sure doing it under a half hour will not be an issue. The minimum required sit ups and push ups for an entering cadet is 50. I haven't done push ups regularly for some time now, but I pumped out 50 today... in two repetitions. I will work on all these exercises to be in top shape for when I enter the Academy. I hope to set some records in as many fields as possible. But there is much to be done before the academy can be realized for me. There is a series of tests that I must pass to be eligible for hire and placement into an academy program. The tests include a written test, physical ability test, a written psychological test, qualifications appraisal panel interview, background investigation, medical evaluation, and a psychological interview. All of these tests can take 6 months to a year to finish. I plan on going back to school to at least finish my AA and possibly a bachelors if time permits. Anyways I have much to do in preparation for this goal of mine. Pray for me :P

My dog Rusty

Rusty is a pure bred AKC Beagle. He is tri-color with ticking. Rusty is almost a year old now and is a great friend. He likes to go running with me whenever he can. Unfortunately for him I'm not as regular as I should be in my running. Rusty loves playing with balls. We are working on fetch with his balls, but he likes to run past me and lay down with the ball. Rusty hasn't liked the pool much at all. He doesn't show much skill swimming... we have to work on that one too. I just don't like swimming myself so its hard to make him do something we both don't like. I will go in with him some weekend when its hot and I'm in the mood to get wet. Rusty does this thing where he leaves his tongue sticking out. Sometimes he does this at night and falls asleep like that, and in the morning the part of his little tongue that's outside of his mouth is all dry. Rusty likes to play with bear, my old dog who is 15 human years old, like a puppy would with another dog. Poor bear doesn't have the energy or strength to play like that though so we have to stop it when we can. We have been having problems with tics... yuck! I have pulled dozens of tics off of rusty and a couple off of myself. We are using front line and other defensive measures to get rid of them. These tics have taught me a thing or two and all in all it has been a good learning experience.

Allison's recital

Today Allison had a recital where she was able to show off what she had learned from all the hard work put into her piano playing. She played very well and received a loud applause from all. Alli has been playing piano under sister Gardner for about two years now and is doing great. She has put a lot of time into this talent of hers. It is nice to have someone in the family who plays. GO ALLI!


From left to right: Gayla Gardner (Allison's teacher), Jacob Bedahll, Allison, Emily Gardner

Allison Performing "Fur Elise" by Ludwig van Beethoven

Blogs for all!

So I started this week with my blog page on blogger here and I was told that blog'n is for girls... meh. I think this is a good way for me to let my friends and family know whats happening in my life all in one shot. I'm working on things still so check in periodically to see what has changed, and enjoy the music, as I do. I'm just glad this thing come standardly equiped with a spell check! Booyah

The new soccer season

I have been currently leading a team as we play indoor soccer at the local Big League Dreams park. Seasons consist of 9 weeks of play and a playoff to cap it off. The playoff is handled in a single day with the top 4 teams duke'n it out. This is our 3rd season in which my team of old soccer contacts will be tested. My team has been very successful in our past two seasons as we played in a Saturday men's open league. This season will be a little different because we are playing on Friday nights... and its co-ed.
Season one started slow as we lost almost all of our games leading into the playoffs. One problem was the fact that we were a new team with only a few players having experience with one another under their belts. The other was lack of subs. In fact most of our games we played short handed the whole time, which is very hard for athletes who haven't had regular exercise since High School. By the time of the playoffs we had meshed as a team and were starting to win games with our high pressure offence and flexible defence. I still don't know how we made the playoffs, but I'm glad we did. We ended up beating the top seeded team in the semis and we pined up against "team Mexico" (actual team name) in the Final. We ended the first half in the lead which we held onto for as long as we needed to. Team Mexico grew more physical and aggressive after they scored midway in the second half taking our lead to 1. This caused their nice size crowd to turn up their olays and chanting as they took pride in the Mexican flag they posted up behind their bleachers. Unfortunately for them one of their smallest guys decided to shove my 6' 3" 225 lb player in the back. This caused my Goliath, Matt Lee, to turn and front him. When the team Mexico side line saw him front they decided they needed to jump onto the field for a closer look. This lead to team Mexico forfeiting the right to finish the game and us wining. I now have a big trophy to add to my collection. :D
Our second season we did well the first two or three weeks then hit a slump. We weren't playing well at all. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that we lost our star defender to a knee injury in the season 1 semis, and it started to take a toll on us. We again squeaked into the playoffs where we shined again to take another trophy home. This time I decided my collection was good enough so I named an MVP to dish it off to. It went to our goalie who had an excellent game. (I almost gave it to Mike Abeyta, aka spike, for taking a blatant kick to the family jewels from the other teams keeper in the final minuets of the match... besides he always gave 110% on the field) Well I'll cap this off by saying we are still piecing together this new co-ed team and this Friday will be game two.